Feb 17, 2024
I watch bad hentai for fun. I've seen a lot of ways a hentai can fail. So, when I went to MAL's listing and searched for the highest rated hentai, I was looking forward to see what passes for "good" in the medium. Unfortuantely, Long Title Hentai proves to be bad in perhaps the worst possible way a hentai can be bad: being boring.
The title of this show roughly translates to "(Main Character's) House Becomes a Gal Hangout Spot for Some Reason." In retrospect, it might have been a red flag that a group of people whose job it is to make an animated story ... decided to wave their hands and put "for some reason" in the title of their show. Make no mistake. I'm not stupid. I know that the reason that the MC's house becomes a "Gal Hangout Spot" is because it creates a scenario where a horny, virile young man lives in his own place, surrounded on all sides by dominant, sexually aggressive women. I know the reason it shakes out like this is because it makes the artist's pp hard. My complaint with the show is not that things were poorly explained. Rather, they were explained a bit too well, too often, and with a passion that frankly destroyed the bedframe.
The writing staff is critically uninterested in establsihng anything other than how wet the protagonists get. On mujltiple occassions, they change scenes to any one of a handful of stock locations (apartment, hot springs, love hotel). They don't do anything with these settings. At one point they build an entire episode around visiting a hot springs only for Main Character to declare in narration that they spent basically the entire trip in their hotel room. There's a shortage of foreplay, is the main issue. All three of our female leads have the self-control of a grey goo scenario. If there isn't a gallon of semen on-screen at any given time, the showrunners clearly feel like they're wasting their time and ours.
Speaking of girls, they aren't anything. Their personalities are basically interchangeable, and while some degree of that is fine (friends typically don't have sex in front of each other on a regular basis unless they agree on *something*), they're all just the same character with different colored hair. They're all dominant, sexually liberated, hyper-libidinous and prone to an occasional need for validation and sentimentality from their shared love interest. See, most harem anime (which I would otherwise call this show) tend to focus on the girls, taking steps to point out how they're different, what their stories are. This is done in order to create a sense of investment, to allow audience members to pick and choose their favorites. Doing that here, however, would get in the way of the all-night marathon sex sessions that any given interaction between these characters naturally devolves into. Clearly, that's a non-starter.
Now, I can hear the complaints from the gallery. My criticism that this hentai seems to focus too much on sex probably sounds like a really dumb idea. And so, this is the part where I feel like I have to give the show credit where it's due. By the standards of hentai animation, this show is above average. The characters are modestly well designed, the animation is relatively complex and detailed, and those few times where it missteps and does something weird, it's a kind of weird that's par for the course for hentai. I want to know which artist was Patient Zero for the "Boob-Windmilll Effect," that plagues this show in particular. The voice acting tends to get repetitive, but only because so much of the show's runtime is dedicated to nothing but sex noises. Depending on what you came into the show for, that would probably be a plus, not a minus. It has, quite possibly, the best animation of fluid dynamics I've seen in a little bit, whenever MC cums in a girl's womb and his stuff parts and swirls in modestly realistic fashion. I feel like I'm damning with faint praise, here, but believe me when I say that this is all good, and that it could get *so* much worse.
In short, Hentai with a Paragraph Long Title is the hentai that your mom thinks all hentai are. Excessive, vapid and devoid of substance, a transparent power fantasy without even the barest shred of legitimization. If you want context-free animations of penises going into vaginas, the internet has been able to provide you with that for years, now. I came into this show expecting something with a little more substance, and I have been sorely disappointed.
I give it a rating of "pulled muscle" out of ten. Somebody get that boy a water bottle, for God's sake.
Reviewer’s Rating: 4
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